We daven three times daily for forgiveness from Hashem. We use the gift of atonement and repentance to purge ourselves of sin. We need to consider our ability to forgive others. We should reflect on our unfortunate need to hold ourselves hostage to the wounds of the past inflicted upon us by others, deliberately or accidentally. Forgiveness from the Divine is what Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzato calls unique kindness. The undoing of the past invents one's future and reinvents the past. The English philosopher, Bertram Russell, once remarked, "The holiest place on earth is where people learn to turn old hatred into new love." That statement is just polished verbiage for a Talmudic expression in Avos D'Reb Nosson, "Who is a strong man? He who makes his enemies into friends."

Forgiveness is not forgetting: in fact, before forgiving enables itself to perform, we must first be able to feel the outrage.

This transcending power of forgiveness yields the profits of feeling wholeness in one's life. Unity of one's self with others by the cardiac declaration that I will not allow myself to hate you despite the wrongness of your actions replaces the acrimony and factiousness with divine humanness of recognizing that the imperfection of forgiveness by the injured may be no less imperfect than the actions of the injurer.

In a litigious society, where disputes are settled in the chambers of the court rather than the chambers of the heart, we feel triumph rather than humility. We do not recognize our own character deficiencies that should allow humbleness to motivate forgiveness.

Difference and differences are forgivable and a virtue to be pursued. What Nietzsche called "harmonious diversity" is recognized in the Talmud in Berachos: "Just as their faces are dissimilar, so too are their thought processes dissimilar", and as the Kotzker Rebbe zt"l explained: despite the uniqueness of the creation of the human being (i.e. there are no replicas of people or personalities) there is no reason to hate one. Neither is the uniqueness of our thinking cause for ill feelings toward one another. Self actualization, as Maslow calls it, nurtures independence in another person that may not correspond to your thinking about life, virtues, Torah and religion.

However, we need to recognize that to be human means to be distinct and flawed. Our personalities are imprinted by the prejudices of half sane societies and therefore we are injured by the normal process of life acculturation. It is easier to forgive when we understand ourselves.

The meaning of the saturated adage that "every saint has a past and every sinner has a future" should dictate and motivate forgiveness. "Forgiveness but." is not forgiveness. Forgiveness with distance is in direct defiance of the Torah perspective of true forgiveness, as explain in the letters of Rav Yisroel Salanter zt"l. When the injured forgives, he reinvents the past for the injurer. (to be continued in next issue)

top

In our everyday life we are not generally cognizant of the foundations upon which the buildings we pass in and out of are built; Until there is some challenge to its integrity, it remains unnoticed below our feet. Yet, at this time of year, a time of cheshbon hanefesh, a thought to the spiritual foundations for which we should be building upon is worth an inspection. In my case, there aren't many levels to uncover before I find Kol Yaakov.

I remember riding with Rabbi Tropper shlita into the city soon after my arrival to Kol Yaakov in the fall of 1998. He told me, during that trip, that when he started the yeshiva, under the guidance of Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky zt"l, it was with the objective of enabling baalei teshuva to become bnei Torah who are able to go on to become part of the mainstream, frum world. It is with tremendous Hakoras Hatov to the Rosh Yeshiva and Rebbeim of Kol Yaakov that I can say that is exactly what the yeshiva has helped me to accomplish.

B"H, I got married during my second year at Kol Yaakov and my wife agreed to work initially so that I could sit and learn. The three years I spent there after my marriage were very productive as I pursued my goals in learning and prepared for the next step.

I spent, in total, approximately 5 years at Kol Yaakov. While I successfully completed the Bais Achiezer Smicha program, my personal goals remained unclear. Did I want to go into Kiruv? Should I be learning full-time? In the end, I was drawn towards staying in learning, but I did not know whether that was a realistic goal. Nonetheless, with the encouragement and support of my wife, I set out to do just that.

During my final year at Kol Yaakov, I began to feel that I was ready to move on to a mainstream kollel. After discussing this with Rabbi Tropper, we began to look for a place that would be right for me and so began to make the move. B"H thanks to his guidance, assistance and support we found the place and I have been learning there ever since.

Thank you, Rabbi Tropper and Kol Yaakov, for helping me establish the foundation for, BE"H, a future in learning.

JMS

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NEWS FROM THE N'SHEI
By Suzanne Balaban

With the happy news that so many new couples and families were joining the Kol Yaakov kehilla the first meeting of a reinvigorated N'Shei Kol Yaakov was convened for Sunday, July 25th, 2004. I had fully intended to be at that meeting, helping to plan a raft of activities and chesed communities, when my husband Elliot Balaban and myself, unexpectedly found ourselves on the receiving end of a tidal wave of kindness. Elliot lost his beloved mother, Sura Leah, just before that meeting - and so, first order of the day at the meeting: Planning a week's worth of food, love and chizuk for the Balabans from the wonderful women of Kol Yaakov. We were overwhelmed with the communal support we received - and it came from all quarters. The talmidim of Kol Yaakov attended the levaya (burial service) to give Lillian the full kavod she merited, and in doing so created a great Kiddush Hashem at the grounds. In addition, we were so blessed to have the Kol Yaakov bochurim, Rebbeim and friends frequenting our house for services. Thank you one and all.

The students at Kol Yaakov come from a diverse range of places and backgrounds, and sometimes their families are genuinely curious as to the "new" lifestyle many of them have chosen. It was our pleasure to host Megan, Moshe Holender's sister, for a week and allow her to experience more closely her brother's life, post Brandeis University. We had a wonderful week with her, and thank you to all the women who so generously learned with Megan, shmoozed with her and showed her what a Torah life is really like for women. She was impressed! We would very much like to do more of this kind of outreach so if you know of sisters, cousins, aunts and moms who would like a "real taste" of Monsey life, let the N'Shei know - and we'd be glad to plan a visit for them.

Our activities, iy"h, going forward, are as follows:

Tuesday September 21st 8:30pm The Rosh Yeshiva Rabbi Tropper will lecture on Yom H Din and the Aseret Y'mei T'Shuvah at the Balaban home, 32 Dolson Road, Monsey NY. We will also be wapping our best Sukkot recipes at this meeting along with top tips for enjoying a three day Yom Tov!

Motzei Shabbat: 16th October: Inaugural N'Shei Book Club meeting -discussing OUR BODIES, OUR SOULS by Rebbetzen Tzipporah Heller. Venue details to come.

Motzei Shabbat 21st November: Having a Healthy Chanukah! Please bring your healthy Chanukah recipes for a low fat fry up.

Motzei Shabbat, December 25th: Melava Malka at the yeshiva.

All are Welcome

top

Dr. & Mrs. Banschek upon the adoption of a baby girl

Mr. & Mrs.. Shimon Key Tov upon the birth of twin boys

Rabbi & Mrs. Matis Roberts upon the birth of a granddaughter

Rabbi & Mrs. Chaim Ozer Tropper and Rabbi & Rebbitzen Leib Tropper on the birth of their first son/grandson

Rabbi & Mrs. Moshe Raice upon the birth of a grandson

Mrs. Susan Blond and Mr. Michael Feiner upon the upcoming Bar Mitzvah of their son Moshe Yaakov

Mr. & Mrs. Daniel Wallen upon their marriage

Mr. & Mrs. Isaac Rokowsky upon the marriage of their daughter

Mr. & Mrs. Neil and Judy Auerbach on a siyum made on a masechta by their son Sholom

Michoel Stern upon making a siyum on Seder Mo'ed

With the last gasps of summer gone and the Chagei Tishrei horse upon us, we are confronted with the challenge of renewal and self-examination, "Renew your actions in the first month" (Vayikra Rabba 29) so, while the fact that the New Year has arrived is very apparent in the Bais Medrash of Kol Yaakov, in the world outside the Yeshiva it is easy for the Yomin Noraim to sneak up on you. To that end, Kol Yaakov and Horizons are renewing and strengthening our efforts to bringing some of the spirit of the Yeshiva to the greater Kol Yaakov family. While the past year has seen many successes, such as newsletters, a website and the reemergence of a newly invigorated N'shei, we are already planning on how to build on these to keep Kol Yaakov an important facet of the lives of those who have passed through our doors...

Through Horizons, Rabbi Tropper and bochurim from the Yeshiva have traveled nationally (and internationally) spreading Yiddishkeit. This space has chronicled these endeavors as they have come along. So, just to cap off the year... Kol Yaakov and Horizons, in a joint effort, spent some time down South during the summer break: SEEDs. ROOTs. TREE.s. whatever you want to call it, it's all about planting and spreading Torah. Forsaking the migration north to the Catskills, Yeshiva Kol Yaakov headed south to Richmond, Virginia transporting the yeshiva for its annual bein Hazmanim trip. Two years ago the yeshiva stopped in Virginia's capital for a few hours on the way to North Carolina. Such an impression was made that this time around the Rosh Yeshiva with ten bochurim in tow, returned for ten days to learn Torah and provide chizuk to the Richmond community. In addition to the yeshiva bochurim setting up shop each day to learn with boys and adults in the community Rabbi Tropper delivered several inspiring talks on such topics as "Men & Women: Searching For Sameness or Searching For Oneness?" and "the Spiritual Survival of Israel." Rabbi Tropper, with several bochurim, made a side trip to neighboring Kentucky. The Rosh Yeshiva delivered a talk entitled, "The Search for G-d, is it Intellectual or Emotional?" Because of the need for space the lecture was delivered at the Lexington Public Library in Kentucky. Rabbi Tropper's talk was part of the weeklong SEED program taking place in Lexington and planned through the relentless efforts of Kol Yaakov talmid, Michoel Stern, who worked with Torah Umesorah to bring a SEED program to his own neck of the woods.

top

Three years ago, to my parent's delight, I started to attend my Conservative Temple every Shabbos of my own accord. Two months later, to my parent's dismay, they realized that I was attending temple EVERY Shabbos. My reasons for starting down this path were varied, but the main reason was that I was inspired by a Hebrew School teacher in learning Torah and decided that its study was useless if not also applied to my life.

The first attempts at application were almost comical in hindsight... I bought a black hat to wear on Shabbos- with my khaki pants and white yamulke of course. Even though I'd drive to shul and back, I would spend the rest of the day in my room for fear that going outside wasn't allowed. I had a keen awareness of the distinction between Shabbos and weekday. and I hated it. When a Masorti Rabbi came and gave a speech on the importance of proper Shabbos observance I was given tremendous chizuk that what I was doing was right but almost laughed at his last point, that Shabbos was enjoyable.

Every Friday night I'd have vivid nightmares of breaking Shabbos or being in shul while a rock concert was going on or davening towards the back exit while everyone else was davening toward the bimah. Most of these dreams began with me leaving shul and walking west which was incidentally the direction that all the Orthodox shuls in that neighborhood were located.

Of course, I never dreamed of actually becoming Orthodox. Although never having gone to an Orthodox shul, the rabbi's speeches were more than enough to convince me of their staleness. Though, while never actually having talked to an Orthodox person, their depiction in the local Jewish newspapers was more than enough to confirm the stereotype: "quaint" at best but backwards, bigoted and unintelligent was the most common conception. When discussing my new observance with a friend, he pleaded with me, "Just don't become Orthodox." I assured him that I wouldn't, not knowing that two years later from that very moment we would both be studying Orthodox texts together in an Orthodox yeshiva in an Orthodox town.

It was over a year from that conversation that I used a weekend that my parents were out of town to sneak in to an Orthodox shul, just to "check it out." I was floored. People who came late to shul davened, not from where the rabbi was, but from the beginning. People actually davened with sincerity and didn't just schmooze (and the kiddush tasted fantastic!). Of course, I wouldn't get sucked into their narrow way of thinking, but I was determined to at least take a break and learn a few things and then go back and apply it to the Conservative movement.

This "break" took me to a small neighborhood shul where I met a Kol Yaakov alumnus, Rabbi Yaakov Barros. Through his teaching and experiencing the tremendous simcha through which he observed Shabbos, I gravitated beyond the philosophy of the Conservative movement. While living as Orthodox as I could, I still retained a secular hashkofa. My plan, by the end of that year, was to learn as much as I could and when I was educated enough, challenge him on issues which I felt couldn't possibly conform to Judaism. To achieve this I started looking for a summer learning program and chose Kol Yaakov.

My grand plan went immediately awry: from trying to create a new form of Judaism to just being able to read through a piece of Gemara without blindly stumbling like an idiot, as well as learning to daven with kavana and improving my midos. However, the "issues" still bothered me to the point that I wanted to leave the yeshiva. Here, Kol Yaakov showed what it has above advanced learning and midos improvement: namely, special tailoring to the needs of the baal teshuva. Eventually, all of my questions were not only answered but explained in a way that convinced me, for the first time, of a G-d given Torah.

Kol Yaakov addresses all the needs of a baal teshuva by providing a unique blend of teaching and mentoring and helping him take the step into fully living and understanding Judaism. When I went back to Rabbi Barros in San Francisco and was telling him that before, I never knew people actually believed in all that stuff. "Why did you think we kept Shabbos, for fun?" The former Conservative youth who hated Shabbos responded, "Well-yeah."

top

FOCUS ON FACULTY

RABBI DOVID WOLPIN has been both magid shiur and Menahel Ruchani in Kol Yaakov for many years. Since Reb Dovid's arrival at Kol Yaakov, almost every long-term talmid of the yeshiva has passed through the doors of his shiur at some point during their studies.

Rabbi Wolpin originally hails from Seattle, Washington. Not known for their great yeshivas, Rabbi Wolpin left the West Coast and made his way to the then young community of Monsey, New York. Reb Dovid came to learn in what was, in the early 60's, the foremost pioneer institution of Monsey, Bais Medrash Elyon. After settling down in Monsey with his Rebbitzen, Rabbi Wolpin embarked on a career in education. His vast experience includes a successful tenure teaching in Seminary as well as teaching seclular studies in Yeshiva Beis Dovid. After inspiring hundreds of boys in Yeshiva Rabbi Samson Rafael Hirsch in Washington Heights, where he was one of their foremost Rebbeim for many years, Reb Dovid joined the Kol Yaakov staff in 1983. With his erudition and unique approach to teaching Baalei Teshuva his position in the yeshiva quickly became an institution.

Despite his large family, Rabbi Wolpin's door is always open, and together with his wife, he makes each student feel like a member of the family. In fact, after leaving Kol Yaakov, many of the alumni remain in close contact with Reb Dovid, sharing their family celebrations, discussing their future and seeking his guidance in many facets of their lives.

Besides his advanced/intermediate gemara shiur, which guides his students through that pivotal period where independence in learning is achieved, Rabbi Wolpin serves as Menahel Ruchani where his presence in the beis medrash provides a invaluable resource for the students, whether attendees of his shiur or not. His sage counsel has steered many of Kol Yaakov's talmidim through the often rough transition into mainstream Jewish life.

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1. According to some opinions, the mitzvah of Simchas Yom Tov includes the obligation to study Torah.

2. The Rambam declares, that as part of Simchas Yom Tov, we need to make happy the hearts of the unfortunate i.e. the poor, the homeless and the brokenhearted.

CONDOLENCES :

Mr. Yaakov Astor on the passing of his father

Mrs. Judy Auerbach on the passing of her father

Mr. Elliot Balaban on the passing of his mother

Mr. Seth Glass on the passing of his father

Mrs. Carol Nelson on the passing of her mother

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Student Profile \| Halachic Insights \| Letters from Alumni \| N'shei News Focus on Faculty \| Mazel Tov \| Condolences \| Hakol Info \| Hakol Index
We daven three times daily for forgiveness from Hashem. We use the gift of atonement and repentance to purge ourselves of sin. We need to consider our ability to forgive others. We should reflect on our unfortunate need to hold ourselves hostage to the wounds of the past inflicted upon us by others, deliberately or accidentally. Forgiveness from the Divine is what Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzato calls unique kindness. The undoing of the past invents one's future and reinvents the past. The English philosopher, Bertram Russell, once remarked, "The holiest place on earth is where people learn to turn old hatred into new love." That statement is just polished verbiage for a Talmudic expression in Avos D'Reb Nosson, "Who is a strong man? He who makes his enemies into friends." Forgiveness is not forgetting: in fact, before forgiving enables itself to perform, we must first be able to feel the outrage. This transcending power of forgiveness yields the profits of feeling wholeness in one's life. Unity of one's self with others by the cardiac declaration that I will not allow myself to hate you despite the wrongness of your actions replaces the acrimony and factiousness with divine humanness of recognizing that the imperfection of forgiveness by the injured may be no less imperfect than the actions of the injurer. In a litigious society, where disputes are settled in the chambers of the court rather than the chambers of the heart, we feel triumph rather than humility. We do not recognize our own character deficiencies that should allow humbleness to motivate forgiveness. Difference and differences are forgivable and a virtue to be pursued. What Nietzsche called "harmonious diversity" is recognized in the Talmud in Berachos: "Just as their faces are dissimilar, so too are their thought processes dissimilar", and as the Kotzker Rebbe zt"l explained: despite the uniqueness of the creation of the human being (i.e. there are no replicas of people or personalities) there is no reason to hate one. Neither is the uniqueness of our thinking cause for ill feelings toward one another. Self actualization, as Maslow calls it, nurtures independence in another person that may not correspond to your thinking about life, virtues, Torah and religion. However, we need to recognize that to be human means to be distinct and flawed. Our personalities are imprinted by the prejudices of half sane societies and therefore we are injured by the normal process of life acculturation. It is easier to forgive when we understand ourselves. The meaning of the saturated adage that "every saint has a past and every sinner has a future" should dictate and motivate forgiveness. "Forgiveness but." is not forgiveness. Forgiveness with distance is in direct defiance of the Torah perspective of true forgiveness, as explain in the letters of Rav Yisroel Salanter zt"l. When the injured forgives, he reinvents the past for the injurer. (to be continued in next issue) top In our everyday life we are not generally cognizant of the foundations upon which the buildings we pass in and out of are built; Until there is some challenge to its integrity, it remains unnoticed below our feet. Yet, at this time of year, a time of cheshbon hanefesh, a thought to the spiritual foundations for which we should be building upon is worth an inspection. In my case, there aren't many levels to uncover before I find Kol Yaakov. I remember riding with Rabbi Tropper shlita into the city soon after my arrival to Kol Yaakov in the fall of 1998. He told me, during that trip, that when he started the yeshiva, under the guidance of Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky zt"l, it was with the objective of enabling baalei teshuva to become bnei Torah who are able to go on to become part of the mainstream, frum world. It is with tremendous Hakoras Hatov to the Rosh Yeshiva and Rebbeim of Kol Yaakov that I can say that is exactly what the yeshiva has helped me to accomplish. B"H, I got married during my second year at Kol Yaakov and my wife agreed to work initially so that I could sit and learn. The three years I spent there after my marriage were very productive as I pursued my goals in learning and prepared for the next step. I spent, in total, approximately 5 years at Kol Yaakov. While I successfully completed the Bais Achiezer Smicha program, my personal goals remained unclear. Did I want to go into Kiruv? Should I be learning full-time? In the end, I was drawn towards staying in learning, but I did not know whether that was a realistic goal. Nonetheless, with the encouragement and support of my wife, I set out to do just that. During my final year at Kol Yaakov, I began to feel that I was ready to move on to a mainstream kollel. After discussing this with Rabbi Tropper, we began to look for a place that would be right for me and so began to make the move. B"H thanks to his guidance, assistance and support we found the place and I have been learning there ever since. Thank you, Rabbi Tropper and Kol Yaakov, for helping me establish the foundation for, BE"H, a future in learning. JMS top NEWS FROM THE N'SHEI By Suzanne Balaban With the happy news that so many new couples and families were joining the Kol Yaakov kehilla the first meeting of a reinvigorated N'Shei Kol Yaakov was convened for Sunday, July 25th, 2004. I had fully intended to be at that meeting, helping to plan a raft of activities and chesed communities, when my husband Elliot Balaban and myself, unexpectedly found ourselves on the receiving end of a tidal wave of kindness. Elliot lost his beloved mother, Sura Leah, just before that meeting - and so, first order of the day at the meeting: Planning a week's worth of food, love and chizuk for the Balabans from the wonderful women of Kol Yaakov. We were overwhelmed with the communal support we received - and it came from all quarters. The talmidim of Kol Yaakov attended the levaya (burial service) to give Lillian the full kavod she merited, and in doing so created a great Kiddush Hashem at the grounds. In addition, we were so blessed to have the Kol Yaakov bochurim, Rebbeim and friends frequenting our house for services. Thank you one and all. The students at Kol Yaakov come from a diverse range of places and backgrounds, and sometimes their families are genuinely curious as to the "new" lifestyle many of them have chosen. It was our pleasure to host Megan, Moshe Holender's sister, for a week and allow her to experience more closely her brother's life, post Brandeis University. We had a wonderful week with her, and thank you to all the women who so generously learned with Megan, shmoozed with her and showed her what a Torah life is really like for women. She was impressed! We would very much like to do more of this kind of outreach so if you know of sisters, cousins, aunts and moms who would like a "real taste" of Monsey life, let the N'Shei know - and we'd be glad to plan a visit for them. Our activities, iy"h, going forward, are as follows: Tuesday September 21st 8:30pm The Rosh Yeshiva Rabbi Tropper will lecture on Yom H Din and the Aseret Y'mei T'Shuvah at the Balaban home, 32 Dolson Road, Monsey NY. We will also be wapping our best Sukkot recipes at this meeting along with top tips for enjoying a three day Yom Tov! Motzei Shabbat: 16th October: Inaugural N'Shei Book Club meeting -discussing OUR BODIES, OUR SOULS by Rebbetzen Tzipporah Heller. Venue details to come. Motzei Shabbat 21st November: Having a Healthy Chanukah! Please bring your healthy Chanukah recipes for a low fat fry up. Motzei Shabbat, December 25th: Melava Malka at the yeshiva. All are Welcome top Dr. & Mrs. Banschek upon the adoption of a baby girl Mr. & Mrs.. Shimon Key Tov upon the birth of twin boys Rabbi & Mrs. Matis Roberts upon the birth of a granddaughter Rabbi & Mrs. Chaim Ozer Tropper and Rabbi & Rebbitzen Leib Tropper on the birth of their first son/grandson Rabbi & Mrs. Moshe Raice upon the birth of a grandson Mrs. Susan Blond and Mr. Michael Feiner upon the upcoming Bar Mitzvah of their son Moshe Yaakov Mr. & Mrs. Daniel Wallen upon their marriage Mr. & Mrs. Isaac Rokowsky upon the marriage of their daughter Mr. & Mrs. Neil and Judy Auerbach on a siyum made on a masechta by their son Sholom Michoel Stern upon making a siyum on Seder Mo'ed	With the last gasps of summer gone and the Chagei Tishrei upon us, we are confronted with the challenge of renewal and self-examination, "Renew your actions in the first month" (Vayikra Rabba 29) so, while the fact that the New Year has arrived is very apparent in the Bais Medrash of Kol Yaakov, in the world outside the Yeshiva it is easy for the Yomin Noraim to sneak up on you. To that end, Kol Yaakov and Horizons are renewing and strengthening our efforts to bringing some of the spirit of the Yeshiva to the greater Kol Yaakov family. While the past year has seen many successes, such as newsletters, a website and the reemergence of a newly invigorated N'shei, we are already planning on how to build on these to keep Kol Yaakov an important facet of the lives of those who have passed through our doors... Through Horizons, Rabbi Tropper and bochurim from the Yeshiva have traveled nationally (and internationally) spreading Yiddishkeit. This space has chronicled these endeavors as they have come along. So, just to cap off the year... Kol Yaakov and Horizons, in a joint effort, spent some time down South during the summer break: SEEDs. ROOTs. TREE.s. whatever you want to call it, it's all about planting and spreading Torah. Forsaking the migration north to the Catskills, Yeshiva Kol Yaakov headed south to Richmond, Virginia transporting the yeshiva for its annual bein Hazmanim trip. Two years ago the yeshiva stopped in Virginia's capital for a few hours on the way to North Carolina. Such an impression was made that this time around the Rosh Yeshiva with ten bochurim in tow, returned for ten days to learn Torah and provide chizuk to the Richmond community. In addition to the yeshiva bochurim setting up shop each day to learn with boys and adults in the community Rabbi Tropper delivered several inspiring talks on such topics as "Men & Women: Searching For Sameness or Searching For Oneness?" and "the Spiritual Survival of Israel." Rabbi Tropper, with several bochurim, made a side trip to neighboring Kentucky. The Rosh Yeshiva delivered a talk entitled, "The Search for G-d, is it Intellectual or Emotional?" Because of the need for space the lecture was delivered at the Lexington Public Library in Kentucky. Rabbi Tropper's talk was part of the weeklong SEED program taking place in Lexington and planned through the relentless efforts of Kol Yaakov talmid, Michoel Stern, who worked with Torah Umesorah to bring a SEED program to his own neck of the woods. top Three years ago, to my parent's delight, I started to attend my Conservative Temple every Shabbos of my own accord. Two months later, to my parent's dismay, they realized that I was attending temple EVERY Shabbos. My reasons for starting down this path were varied, but the main reason was that I was inspired by a Hebrew School teacher in learning Torah and decided that its study was useless if not also applied to my life. The first attempts at application were almost comical in hindsight... I bought a black hat to wear on Shabbos- with my khaki pants and white yamulke of course. Even though I'd drive to shul and back, I would spend the rest of the day in my room for fear that going outside wasn't allowed. I had a keen awareness of the distinction between Shabbos and weekday. and I hated it. When a Masorti Rabbi came and gave a speech on the importance of proper Shabbos observance I was given tremendous chizuk that what I was doing was right but almost laughed at his last point, that Shabbos was enjoyable. Every Friday night I'd have vivid nightmares of breaking Shabbos or being in shul while a rock concert was going on or davening towards the back exit while everyone else was davening toward the bimah. Most of these dreams began with me leaving shul and walking west which was incidentally the direction that all the Orthodox shuls in that neighborhood were located. Of course, I never dreamed of actually becoming Orthodox. Although never having gone to an Orthodox shul, the rabbi's speeches were more than enough to convince me of their staleness. Though, while never actually having talked to an Orthodox person, their depiction in the local Jewish newspapers was more than enough to confirm the stereotype: "quaint" at best but backwards, bigoted and unintelligent was the most common conception. When discussing my new observance with a friend, he pleaded with me, "Just don't become Orthodox." I assured him that I wouldn't, not knowing that two years later from that very moment we would both be studying Orthodox texts together in an Orthodox yeshiva in an Orthodox town. It was over a year from that conversation that I used a weekend that my parents were out of town to sneak in to an Orthodox shul, just to "check it out." I was floored. People who came late to shul davened, not from where the rabbi was, but from the beginning. People actually davened with sincerity and didn't just schmooze (and the kiddush tasted fantastic!). Of course, I wouldn't get sucked into their narrow way of thinking, but I was determined to at least take a break and learn a few things and then go back and apply it to the Conservative movement. This "break" took me to a small neighborhood shul where I met a Kol Yaakov alumnus, Rabbi Yaakov Barros. Through his teaching and experiencing the tremendous simcha through which he observed Shabbos, I gravitated beyond the philosophy of the Conservative movement. While living as Orthodox as I could, I still retained a secular hashkofa. My plan, by the end of that year, was to learn as much as I could and when I was educated enough, challenge him on issues which I felt couldn't possibly conform to Judaism. To achieve this I started looking for a summer learning program and chose Kol Yaakov. My grand plan went immediately awry: from trying to create a new form of Judaism to just being able to read through a piece of Gemara without blindly stumbling like an idiot, as well as learning to daven with kavana and improving my midos. However, the "issues" still bothered me to the point that I wanted to leave the yeshiva. Here, Kol Yaakov showed what it has above advanced learning and midos improvement: namely, special tailoring to the needs of the baal teshuva. Eventually, all of my questions were not only answered but explained in a way that convinced me, for the first time, of a G-d given Torah. Kol Yaakov addresses all the needs of a baal teshuva by providing a unique blend of teaching and mentoring and helping him take the step into fully living and understanding Judaism. When I went back to Rabbi Barros in San Francisco and was telling him that before, I never knew people actually believed in all that stuff. "Why did you think we kept Shabbos, for fun?" The former Conservative youth who hated Shabbos responded, "Well-yeah." top FOCUS ON FACULTY RABBI DOVID WOLPIN has been both magid shiur and Menahel Ruchani in Kol Yaakov for many years. Since Reb Dovid's arrival at Kol Yaakov, almost every long-term talmid of the yeshiva has passed through the doors of his shiur at some point during their studies. Rabbi Wolpin originally hails from Seattle, Washington. Not known for their great yeshivas, Rabbi Wolpin left the West Coast and made his way to the then young community of Monsey, New York. Reb Dovid came to learn in what was, in the early 60's, the foremost pioneer institution of Monsey, Bais Medrash Elyon. After settling down in Monsey with his Rebbitzen, Rabbi Wolpin embarked on a career in education. His vast experience includes a successful tenure teaching in Seminary as well as teaching seclular studies in Yeshiva Beis Dovid. After inspiring hundreds of boys in Yeshiva Rabbi Samson Rafael Hirsch in Washington Heights, where he was one of their foremost Rebbeim for many years, Reb Dovid joined the Kol Yaakov staff in 1983. With his erudition and unique approach to teaching Baalei Teshuva his position in the yeshiva quickly became an institution. Despite his large family, Rabbi Wolpin's door is always open, and together with his wife, he makes each student feel like a member of the family. In fact, after leaving Kol Yaakov, many of the alumni remain in close contact with Reb Dovid, sharing their family celebrations, discussing their future and seeking his guidance in many facets of their lives. Besides his advanced/intermediate gemara shiur, which guides his students through that pivotal period where independence in learning is achieved, Rabbi Wolpin serves as Menahel Ruchani where his presence in the beis medrash provides a invaluable resource for the students, whether attendees of his shiur or not. His sage counsel has steered many of Kol Yaakov's talmidim through the often rough transition into mainstream Jewish life. top 1. According to some opinions, the mitzvah of Simchas Yom Tov includes the obligation to study Torah. 2. The Rambam declares, that as part of Simchas Yom Tov, we need to make happy the hearts of the unfortunate i.e. the poor, the homeless and the brokenhearted. CONDOLENCES : Mr. Yaakov Astor on the passing of his father Mrs. Judy Auerbach on the passing of her father Mr. Elliot Balaban on the passing of his mother Mr. Seth Glass on the passing of his father Mrs. Carol Nelson on the passing of her mother top